Gym Women

Why are so many women at the gym so downright weird? The constantlychewinggum ones, for starters. I'm noticing that there is a definite correlation between gum-chewing and wrinklieness. The gum-chewing-women at the gym are always:

Lacking any kind of a bum, poor dears;
Unnaturally thin;
Over-made-up;
A strange orangey-brown "tan" shade - even in February.

Now I'd be the last person to laugh at ANYONE at the gym. Especially the plumpies like me, but at least we have the decency to look as if we didn't spend three hours just getting ready to go there. But there's something about these women that really winds me up. Why do they have to be in my face with their skinniness? Were I that thin (it'll never happen this side of the grave) I'd be sitting in Starbucks drinking lattes and eating cake, not freaking out all the poor fatties who actually NEED to be at the gym.

I've got to come to the conclusion that they are there to intimidate. They may have beautiful bodies (if you consider skinny, wrinkly and orange to be beautiful - clearly they do), but they are doing nothing, in my view, to promote the image of fitness. Or the benefits of working out.

If I was a gym manager I would not let them in. They frighten the other members.

Am I jealous? Probably. At least about the skinniness. I openly pity women with tiny bottoms, but secretly I would LOVE an arse that small - snaky hips and thin thighs are undeniably sexy. But the heavy make-up and the tans? No sir, never. The whole point of make-up should be that it enhances what is already there, not disguises or hides under layers of brown gloop. And tans? Only for stupid people.